What words/names are not offensive towards gays? (for gays)?

I'm writing an essay on how society needs to accept the gay community. (i don't want to hear that you are against the topic) But what i do want to know are some terms i can use in my paper. My teacher is a lesbian. She's married to her wife (duh!) so i don't want to offend her. I know words like (excuse me) dyke & homo are definitely no-no's. So give me some that are acceptable. (please no stupid answers i need real ones that can help me write my essay.) I've heard the word queer coming from a gay guy but idk if it's okay, is it? Any suggestions?