My son won't see me, i am getting custody , will it traumatize him?

My son is 12. I have been fighting to regain a relationship for the last year and a half. He refuses to talk with me and is encouraged by his mother to tell me to stay out of his life. The magistrate said that if she does not follow through this time I would be awarded custody. Will this traumatize him or would it be better for me to try to regain a relationship without the negative influence.